Life's Changes

So guess who is back to blogging! If you could see me right now I am pointing to myself, so that would be me! Plus singing that sentence along to the beat of Eminem's "Without Me" intro. I have had this growing desire to start writing, since it is the best way for me to express myself in a way that I am not overthinking every word I say, but more free writing. I have always been enthralled with writing and will always have a love for. As for Oregon, it is currently back to the typical weather of cold and rainy, but this is after three days of gorgeous sunny weather and it being in the high 70's. Needless to say, I want this weather back. A life update, in late February I took a trip with my best friend to Mexico, where I wish I was right now laying in the sun with a margarita in hand. Almost nothing is better, in my opinion, than reading a book by the pool, drink in hand, chips and guac next to me, all in the sun. If you can't tell, I am someone who loves the sun and warm weather, which is why it is somewhat comical I live in a city that has had only about 20% of the weather not be rain since October. Yes they actually did the math of how many non-rainy days Portland has had and that's what they came up with. It is depressing. In recent weeks, I have also felt the need to do some major life changes. This happens to me every few years where I just need to shake things up and do something totally different. These needs to do life changes also means a reevaluation of my life and what I am doing, compared to where I would like to be. To start this change, in the last week I have dyed my hair back to its original color. It might be a superficial change, but it is one that makes me feel better about myself and has given me more confidence. I have also gained a new scar on myself from my recent surgery, which was a lot tougher than I anticipated it would be. A few months ago I found a lump in my left breast that was causing me pain and was concerning to my doctors. I decided to have this lump removed which required me going through a lumpectomy, which I never thought I would have at almost 24 years old. Good thing though, because the results came back that the lump was benign and was larger than the doctor originally thought. Moral of that is that ladies and gentlemen you should always be on top of your health! Within my last post, which is ancient now, I mentioned a new boy in my life, who is yes, still in my life. I won't go on and on gushing about him, even though I know I could for hours. I have wrote about past toxic relationships, but it is so nice to be in one of the healthiest relationships that I know of. Being in this relationship has also brought new friendships to my life, and some of them are now some of my closest friends. Learning that I need to not put in majority of the effort in friendships, is something I am still working on, as well as learning which friendships I should keep closer than others. I have a tendency to allow toxic relationships to stay present in my life, but I am changing that. Life is all about learning experiences and growing from those experiences. An upcoming change is that I am kicking getting healthy and getting in shape (yes it is time to be summer body ready) into high gear, but also not depriving myself from things I love. Also so many trips with amazing people are planned for this summer, as well as little outings. Lots of good things will be happening and I am making sure to document them all so I can share them with all of you! Be on the lookout for at least a weekly post from here on out!

Happiness is Attainable

This past year has been one of the tougher times for me, going through different events that really did contribute to shaping the person that I am today. I would not change those tough times though because I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason, and there is a purpose for every person in your life, as well as how they come through your life. I had become very accustomed to toxic relationships since throughout the years, that is what I seemed to attract. Since I am very much a helper, these people I would be in relationships with, would be people I thought I could help, when in reality, the situations were hurting me instead. Being able to recognize this pattern was quintessential to me growing as a person and knowing that some people can't be helped and I needed to just accept that. This is one reason I have never gotten into the spirit of Valentine's Day, is because this is the one holiday that was about showing love for the person or people you are around, but with romantic relationships, I was giving my whole self and getting nothing in return. I actually took a personality test this morning, and part of the results showed your weakness, and mine (no surprise) was being too selfless. I have known this since I was little because I always worried more about other people than I probably should have. But over this past year, I have learned that I need to start taking better care of myself mentally, and start putting myself first every once in a while. That is not to say that I am not still a very selfless person (as I have been told many times), or that I will stop trying to help people. With that being said, over all of these realizations, there have been some amazing things happening that have proven that happiness is attainable. Something that helped me grow my happiness is making a list of things that make me truly happy. This way, if there was something I was doing that doesn't make me happy but instead stressed me out or made me anxious, I would know that maybe I need to reevaluate what I was doing. The biggest change that has come from this has been in the love life department because I have met the most amazing man. I have not introduced my friends or family to a guy for a long time because I realized that I didn't want men to just be coming and going from their lives and mine. If they were going to meet someone I was dating, then it was going to be someone I see a future with and someone I am extremely excited about. That is what the guy I am dating is to me, someone I see a future with and a person I am insanely excited about to the point of it annoying my friends, how happy I am now. But along with that, a man should not determine your happiness, but instead help increase your happiness. Relationships should not be something that causes a lot of anxiety or stress; that is a good indicator that it is either not a healthy relationship or not the right one for you. That is one way I knew this would be a good relationship is because I am always excited to talk to him and see him. Date nights are something to look forward to because he will be there, and he helps contribute to my happiness. Clearly I cannot stop gushing about him so I will just cut myself off now. Since I am a huge planner (my actual planner is color coded and has my whole life written down in it) I have had to realize that not everything I plan out, is necessarily going to happen, and when it doesn't happen, I shouldn't stress out too much about it. That is one huge thing I used to do, is when things would not go as planned, I would get incredibly anxious and so upset because things needed to go according to plan. After realizing that this affected my happiness, I knew I needed to change how I viewed being this invested in things going the exact way I expected them to go. Letting go a little lets you grow your trust in other people and takes some of the weight off of your shoulders. Being able to trust people is something that has come to be difficult, because I am usually too trusting and then get burned in the end. But once you learn the traits a person you want to trust, should have, it is easier to know who to trust in your life. I was recommended a book to read that goes hand in hand with this topic called Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. I plan to enjoy this book when I am in Cabo, on the beach with a margarita and tacos in 2 weeks. So the full review and my thoughts about the book will come in a future post. But I will be straight up about this particular thing; tacos make me the happiest in life. Just know what makes you happy and go do it!

Kristin Ess is a Hair Goddess

For quite some time now I have followed Kristin Ess on Instagram to see what amazing hair styles and colors she does on her clients. Honestly, it is a dream of mine to one day have my hair done by her, but for now I am more than happy using her haircare line from Target. While it was not easy to purchase them, it was well worth the wait in the end, because I love the products. The products I decided to start out with are the signature shampoo, signature conditioner, strand strengthening reconstructive moisture mask, leave-in conditioner, and the signature finishing spray. All products are link at the bottom of the post. Last night I used the shampoo and conditioner, which I am raving about now. Most women don't know that the only part they should be shampooing is their scalp and that conditioner should only go from the middle of their hair to the end, so all instructions are on the bottles and are worded perfectly. It doesn't sound like a robot telling you how to use the products, but it's like Kristin is there herself telling you how to use the products. Since I have color treated hair, it can be a little tricky to find products that provide enough moisture to my hair, but these definitely are perfect for my hair. After my shower I sprayed the leave-in conditioner, just as the instructions advised me to, 5-10 sprays all over. I have naturally wavy hair, and since it is process, I have to brush it after my showers in order to not wake up looking like an actual lion. The spray is ideal for this because it helps act as a detangle spray, and leaves your hair soft and glowing. All of the products I purchased have the same fragrance, which I absolutely love and as my mother described it, "it smells expensive". But what is great is that they really are not expensive, but you are still getting that same salon quality with them. I am a lady who does not wear perfume, so this allows me to smell fabulous without having to drench myself in a perfume. Tomorrow night I am trying the hair mask, and I am sure I will have great things to say about it as well. I highly recommend these products for anyone who has color treated hair, or even natural hair because these are made for all hair types. It's easier than having to look through all of the shampoo and conditioner options for many different hair types. This is a haircare line that I will be using forever. Run out to Target now and try these!

Minimalism

Minimalism is a topic that has been on the forefront of social media for quite some time now, but I am now finally looking at it and watching the documentary about this topic with the same name; Minimalism. This isn't something I would have thought to describe myself or anyone in my family because I have noticed that we all just have a lot of "stuff". Growing up, I always knew my grandmother was a hoarder, not quite as bad as the ones you see on tv, but she was still pretty deep into it. She was a woman who liked to collect a lot of different things and find different hobbies, but once she found a hobby, she was all in for it and had to buy everything to do it. When she passed away about two and a half years ago, my household were the main people who were in charge of going through her things. While there was a lot of sentimental items and ones we decided to hold onto, but a lot of the items were truly just "stuff". While having a lot of items can mean different things about the person, from being financially well off to needing to fill a void in their life with this "stuff". I make it a point to put the word "stuff" in quotations because it has a different meaning for everyone, since some people find more meaning to the items than other people. So when I started to think of minimalism, this was the first thought that came to mind was growing up around someone who was the complete opposite. In the documentary, they discuss "fast fashion", because this is a very current problem, especially in America. People used to buy clothes because theirs were simply too torn and used to continue wearing. Now, people buy clothing to keep up with the fashion trends, instead of investing in clothing that will last them for a long time and are more staples in their wardrobe. I do not consider myself a minimalist by any means, but I do think that changing some of the ways you view things in your life, is beneficial for many people. In my opinion, people definitely do not have to go to the extreme and only own things they could fit into one box. I have known people who will say "I can fit my entire life into this one box", but I don't think this is necessarily something that needs to be done and going to the extreme level of minimalism. If there are things in your life that all have meaning and bring you joy, but is not in excess, then they are alright to own. The problem is when things are bought in excess and are bought for no reason because that is when they just become "stuff". My favorite sentence that was said in the entire documentary was "Imagine your life with less". This resonated with me because it caused me to imagine my life with less stuff than I have no, which was surprisingly not hard to imagine. Having too much in your life, can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety, because there is a certain amount of worrying that makes sense, and a certain amount that does not make sense. Just ask yourself "is this useful?". This was pointed out by a Good Morning America new anchor, who suffered an anxiety attack while on television. It is simple things that can be done to reduce the clutter in your life, and while this documentary shows a lot of different angles to the idea of minimalism, is creates a realistic lifestyle change for people. It is a personal choice if you want to go to extreme minimalism, or you can change little things in your life to reduce the clutter, but not throw out everything you own. Live deliberately instead and have meaning to everything in your life. I do highly recommend watching this documentary right now, especially while it is still on Netflix!

Snow Morning

There is yet another snow storm in Portland, but this one is nothing like the previous ones we have had. Thankfully I left work last night just when the rain/sleet started to turn into snow, but once I was closer to getting home, it was a complete white out. Last night we were averaging an inch of snowfall per hour, which is insane to have happen in this area. Plus most people here do not know how to drive in the snow (few people are trained for it), so what's scarier than driving on possible ice is driving on the road with everyone else. But I do enjoy snow days where I know that I have no responsibilities to take care of or work to worry about. Therefore, I am sitting here writing this post while eating some Joe's O's (Trader Joe's version of Cheerios which happen to be extremely addicting for me and still are healthy, plus gluten free). On snow days we tend to take full advantage of the weather while we still have it. There is a lot of cooking/baking, movies and sledding. Since my family is all getting older (but I am still the early riser), I thought I would make brunch since in my opinion it is the best meal and there really is no wrong way to do brunch. The first item on the menu was a frittata, which is odd for me to want because I don't really like the taste of eggs, but will eat them if there is a bunch of other stuff mixed in with it. My mom recently went back on the Whole30, so the recipe needed to be diet approved, but not bland because my dad and brother would not eat it. After skimming through the cookbook, along with a couple of my own cookbooks, which included Pinterest, I found an acceptable recipe to try out. My mom also bought a cast iron skillet set, which happened to be one of my dreams to own, so I knew I would be using one of those to cook the frittata in. Now onto the actual recipe: below is the recipe all nice and neat for you to follow. Ingredients: 6 large eggs 1 cup diced tomatoes + a few slices to top frittata with 3/4 cup chopped white mushrooms 2 handfuls of roughly chopped spinach 1/2 diced onion 2 TBSP cooking fat (I used olive oil) 1/4 tsp salt 1/4 tsp black pepper zest and juice of 1/4 lemon Preheat oven to 500 degrees Heat skillet on the stove with cooking fat Add in onion, tomatoes and mushrooms until onions are translucent: about 2-3 minutes In a separate medium bowl, whisk eggs along with the salt and pepper Toss in spinach to skillet and cook until wilted Slowly fold in eggs into the skillet until veggies are mixed evenly Let mixture cook without stirring until the eggs are still wet, but firm Once firm, add the sliced tomatoes on top along with zest and juice from the lemon Transfer to oven and cook until the top is golden brown: about 6-8 minutes

On my piece I added grated cheddar cheese and hot sauce also. To go with the frittata I just cooked some diced potatoes in olive oil, and had some mixed berries to go on the side. The berries add a fresh and lightness to the meal so it's not a bunch of heavy dishes. This was a great brunch option because it didn't feel like it was just sitting at the bottom of my stomach when I was done eating, and even now. It is filled with protein from the eggs, as well as nutrients from the veggies that were added to it. But now it is time to enjoy the snow!

Finding Your Own Self

As usual, there has been so much going on in the past month, but also just the past year in general. Most of you already know that I live just outside of Portland, Oregon where it has been insane weather recently. It has been a balance between amazing sunny yet cold weather, and a mixture of snow and ice. That is the worst weather in my opinion because it leaves everyone in a bind, plus people in this area are just never ready for that kind of weather. Along with some extreme weather, work has also been insane. I work in retail, so the holidays is always a very busy time for me, but I love it regardless. The coworkers I have could not be better people, I always look forward to working with the, because we make work fun. In past posts about it being a new season of life, or a new year with lots of changes, those were just small changes that have been made. Honestly looking back at the past year, I still am amazed at the amount of positive changes that have happened and where they have lead me to today. To start with, school has always been a somewhat difficult area for me. From being in the right learning environment, to having the motivation to finish, it has not come easy to me. But recently I have transferred to a university who is more willing to help me finish, but also it is just a much more positive environment for me personally. The learning style is right on track with how I learn best (small discussion based classes), but I have also decided to follow through with this passion of mine, which has always been writing. I cannot count the amount of journals that I have gone through over the years, and somewhat wish I had kept some of those said journals. That is a huge reason why I am getting back into blogging because it fills that creative space in my brain that I adore so much. This year I already know that there will be so much to share in my life, from traveling to recipes and everything in between. Another major change that I made this year was ending a serious relationship that was very toxic in my life. This person was very controlling and manipulative, which I was blinded from for a long time. When I realized I was not able to be my true self with him, and saw how much he was negatively influencing my life, I knew that this was not the relationship I wanted to be in. After I broke up with him, further events proved to me that I had made the right decision in my life by ending things with him. Once I ended the relationship I went through a period where I was not really sure who I was or wanted to be in life because I was so heavily influenced by my ex. This could really not come at a better time in my life, because it allowed me to decide an entirely new direction that I wanted to go. That was the time when I decided what school I really wanted to go to, what my religious belief is (I was recently baptized), and what really made me happy in my life. This sparked me to make this new year about doing what makes me happy, and not just following what another person thinks is best because I want to please them. Knowing this has also greatly helped my anxiety, which I have always had since I was 5 years old. But now I know what triggers me and if it is something negative that triggers me, I know that it is something that I don't need in my life. If there is anything in your life that causes you negative stress or that you are not excited about, then they could potentially be something that should not be in your life. With relationships, you should be excited to see the other person, instead of dreading it or having to come up with made up excuses to not see them. That's when you know for a fact you should not be with that person, and is something that I have learned. The last major change of the past year has been my health. It has not changed drastically but I have learned more about it, like the fact that I am gluten sensitive, so the gluten free lifestyle has been introduced to me. I still occasionally eat gluten if I really feel like it is worth the stomach ache afterwards, but I have learned that I cannot do that too often. This has actually been enjoyable to find new recipes that are gluten free or alter current recipes that I have to make them gluten free. Any of you who have dietary restrictions will hopefully be satisfied with future recipe posts that will be on here. Some have considered this almost a quarter life crisis, which call it what you want, it was something that helped me in my life and I am glad I went through. Everything I have gone through has been a for a reason and has made me stronger. As cliche as that sounds, it is really the case for me. This is the best point in my 20's so far, and I cannot wait to see what else is in store for me!

Life's Changes

As I go through all of my pictures of the leaves changing colors, it got me thinking about how much my life has changed over the seasons. Most people take New Years as a time to think back to what has happened over the past year, but for some odd reason, I have always looked back at my year towards the end of fall. It must be something to do with the leaves changing, that gets me thinking about everything that has changed for me as well. This is also the time I usually make changes with my hair (chopping it off or tweaking the color), but that will not be happening this year. Over the past year, I have matured, ended toxic relationships (both friendships and a relationship), and found a new pathway to go down. I have never been one to really talk about religion, it just kind of scared me if I am being completely honest. Throughout the years I have been pulled every way, when it comes to religion, some of my friends are quite devoted in their faith, and then I was in a relationship where he was completely against organized religion. After ending that relationship, a few months later I was thinking, and came to the conclusion that I needed to accept God into my life and that was what was the missing puzzle piece was in my life. The first time going to church, I expected to be intimidating, but once I entered, I could feel this weight lifted off of my shoulders. My entire life I have had major anxiety that goes from extreme to minor, but it is always there. What was amazing to me was when I went to church, all of my anxiety was gone. That is when I knew I was where I belonged. If you are looking for a new church to go to, or even just to start going to church, that is the feeling you should feel when you are at the right one. Feeling comfortable and at home, is the best feeling in the world, especially for someone with anxiety. After going to church, I have made friends with some amazing people who are just as excited as I am to see where God is taking us in life and have accepted Jesus in their hearts. It has also allowed me to deepen friendships with people I have known for years. Having this major change in my life has also lead me to look at other aspects in my life, but it is slowly all coming together. Different changes are being made, that are healthier for me in my life. I am a person who has focused on other people, which is great, but it has been hard because I then never think about myself and what is best for me. This is the start to a new year for me, even though New Years is still a little over a month away. But I am beyond excited to see what else is to come in my life!