Finding Your Own Self

As usual, there has been so much going on in the past month, but also just the past year in general. Most of you already know that I live just outside of Portland, Oregon where it has been insane weather recently. It has been a balance between amazing sunny yet cold weather, and a mixture of snow and ice. That is the worst weather in my opinion because it leaves everyone in a bind, plus people in this area are just never ready for that kind of weather. Along with some extreme weather, work has also been insane. I work in retail, so the holidays is always a very busy time for me, but I love it regardless. The coworkers I have could not be better people, I always look forward to working with the, because we make work fun. In past posts about it being a new season of life, or a new year with lots of changes, those were just small changes that have been made. Honestly looking back at the past year, I still am amazed at the amount of positive changes that have happened and where they have lead me to today. To start with, school has always been a somewhat difficult area for me. From being in the right learning environment, to having the motivation to finish, it has not come easy to me. But recently I have transferred to a university who is more willing to help me finish, but also it is just a much more positive environment for me personally. The learning style is right on track with how I learn best (small discussion based classes), but I have also decided to follow through with this passion of mine, which has always been writing. I cannot count the amount of journals that I have gone through over the years, and somewhat wish I had kept some of those said journals. That is a huge reason why I am getting back into blogging because it fills that creative space in my brain that I adore so much. This year I already know that there will be so much to share in my life, from traveling to recipes and everything in between. Another major change that I made this year was ending a serious relationship that was very toxic in my life. This person was very controlling and manipulative, which I was blinded from for a long time. When I realized I was not able to be my true self with him, and saw how much he was negatively influencing my life, I knew that this was not the relationship I wanted to be in. After I broke up with him, further events proved to me that I had made the right decision in my life by ending things with him. Once I ended the relationship I went through a period where I was not really sure who I was or wanted to be in life because I was so heavily influenced by my ex. This could really not come at a better time in my life, because it allowed me to decide an entirely new direction that I wanted to go. That was the time when I decided what school I really wanted to go to, what my religious belief is (I was recently baptized), and what really made me happy in my life. This sparked me to make this new year about doing what makes me happy, and not just following what another person thinks is best because I want to please them. Knowing this has also greatly helped my anxiety, which I have always had since I was 5 years old. But now I know what triggers me and if it is something negative that triggers me, I know that it is something that I don't need in my life. If there is anything in your life that causes you negative stress or that you are not excited about, then they could potentially be something that should not be in your life. With relationships, you should be excited to see the other person, instead of dreading it or having to come up with made up excuses to not see them. That's when you know for a fact you should not be with that person, and is something that I have learned. The last major change of the past year has been my health. It has not changed drastically but I have learned more about it, like the fact that I am gluten sensitive, so the gluten free lifestyle has been introduced to me. I still occasionally eat gluten if I really feel like it is worth the stomach ache afterwards, but I have learned that I cannot do that too often. This has actually been enjoyable to find new recipes that are gluten free or alter current recipes that I have to make them gluten free. Any of you who have dietary restrictions will hopefully be satisfied with future recipe posts that will be on here. Some have considered this almost a quarter life crisis, which call it what you want, it was something that helped me in my life and I am glad I went through. Everything I have gone through has been a for a reason and has made me stronger. As cliche as that sounds, it is really the case for me. This is the best point in my 20's so far, and I cannot wait to see what else is in store for me!